The hair dryer is no longer magic. I was really starting to think that I would be gifted with writing inspiration every morning when I dried my hair, because it happened a few times in a row. NOPE. Not happening. I’m dried up. I can’t even really say I’m blocked because doesn’t that require having something good to start with? I’ve been looking back at my piddly NaNo work so far (a dangerous thing I should probably not be doing) and feeling utterly discouraged. My word count is so far behind. And I have no good ideas. No big conflict, no amazing resolution, no bad guys, nothing. I’ve been aiming for a fantasy/scifi book because that is fun and I want to write that genre. But I find myself utterly stuck trying to devise a conflict. I know what I don’t want to do, namely, an alien war or a corrupt government or a murder mystery or some cheesy romance. But what does that leave? A questing story? Okay, I could get into a questing story! Now. What is the quest? Uh. Hmm. Well . . . I have no clue. Should I set it on Earth? Should I go to a new planet? Should I make a nifty futuristic space shuttle where all this is happening? Or space station? Or Biodome type thingy? WHAT?! Where are they? Why? What is going on?!
At the end of attempting to brainstorm I am beat. I sometimes come up with a few quirky lines, an opening to get my writing groove on. But when the second line doesn’t come to me as quickly, I get discouraged. I become more discouraged when I realize I’ve just be babbling about asinine who cares things. Gee, the color of my MC’s rug. Wow. Great writing there. I’m sure some reader will fall in love with my rug descriptions. I’m sure a publisher would just squee with delight and want to sign me and give me millions of dollars because I wrote about the plush, pinkness of the area rug under my MC’s bed. GAH!!
I continually obsess about making my work marketable. I’m pinning all this hope for my future on finding a different career path because I am so sick of my work life. I want something new. Wait, I need something new. My job has it’s perks but it is just not for me. I’ve always been a creative type and my job is less than creative. So now I’ve got the idea in my head that if I can just be the next J.K. Rowling my entire life will be solved. The mystery of why I’m here and what the point of my life is and who moved my cheese and all that will magically resolve. Plus I’ll be cool! People will go “Wow! That chick made it! She totally changed her life and now is doing something she loves! Neat!” And lets admit that I fantasize about sitting at home in pajama pants writing on my laptop all day, and magical trips to exotic locales to promote my new literary masterpiece.
I started looking up famous opening lines to classic novels yesterday. I’m stuck on the opening lines to “Rebecca” now (yes, that is my name too, but that isn’t why I’m obsessed). It’s so gothic and romantic and emotional and while I haven’t read the whole book, the opening, for me, evokes so many images and feelings. Suddenly I started doubting the whole theme and tone and genre of my NaNo Novel. Maybe I should be writing emo whiny dark brooding crap, like the way I usually think of life. I’ve been purposefully trying not to write that way because I want to have more fun in life. I truly do want to write a goofy fantasty/scifi book. I’ve read a lot of them and really like the genre. But maybe it just isn’t me? Maybe me is the brooding gothic novel. Can anyone even write a truly brooding gothic novel anymore? Maybe that genre is reserved for a different time that has passed and now if I try I’ll just failt at that too. And part of me resists because I don’t want to be the brooding gothic novel chick. Resisting who I am makes it hard to get things done though. Like writing a NaNo Novel. How do I write in a genre and tone that is so foreign to my natural thought process though? Maybe I’ll start looking up goofy fantasy/scifi book opening lines today to get inspiration. I’m apparently wickedly impressionable as far as writing styles and genres go.
How is your NaNo Novel coming along?